Words of comfort
The right kind of words when there’s trouble
Are often so hard to say,
But a gentle tone and a clasping hand
Can ease the distress away.
For just being there will mean so much
When someone feels alone,
And the comfort spread, in the strength you give
Brings warmth in the kindness shown.
Just a resting place
Sometimes the road of life seems long
As we travel through the years,
And with hearts that are broken
And eyes brimful of tears,
We falter in our weariness
And sink beside the way.
But God leans down and whispers
Rest, there will be another day,
And the road will grow much smoother
And much easier to face,
So do not be disheartened
This is just a resting place.
I'm seeing a rainbow high in the sky
With colours all glowing and arching up high
You know what it looks like, I'm sure you all do
So picture it now with its beautiful hue
I'm seeing a drunk now, he's falling about
He's slurring his words and he's starting to shout
You know what one looks like, I'm sure you all do
And for some of us sadly, this scene's nothing new
Not all drunks are homeless and drink in the park
Some live in houses and cry in the dark
For alcoholism's a silent disease
That can bring any family down on its knees
Its grasp has no boundaries; it just strikes at will
It spreads like a cancer, there's no magic pill
The absolute pain it emits in its wake
Is sometimes just almost far too much to take
I know it's an illness that's stealing his soul
If death is his aim then he's reaching his goal
And he is dragging us down, with each drink that he takes
For he's blinded and deafened, to all his mistakes
The screaming and shouting the grief and the tears
Have taken their toll over the weeks, months and years
He's grinding me down "till I've not got the strength"
To fight one more fight nor crawl one more length
If you have your own words of comfort, which have helped you through some difficult times, we'd love to hear from you and feature them on our site.
Love, trust, hope
We will look at how these three words affect those of us trying to cope with substance misuse.
I will start with love. Many times when we start working with a family we find that giving loads of unconditional love is the first weapon which the family have used to fight this dark and frightening enemy.
There is a belief that if you throw enough love at the problem then surely the monster called addiction will go away.
But the family finds that the addicted person just draws all that love towards themselves, like a big sponge and then bends the family to fit around their own addictive needs.
The family is left tired, in despair and at their wits end.
Here there is a need to pause and step back and see that God can give unconditional love. But the family need to protect themselves.
Love should always be there, but it needs some boundaries. The family must take the time to understand that setting no limits and making excuses for the user only prolongs the problem.
The hardest way of showing a family’s love is making the decision not to rescue the user from their problems. My heart always goes out to these families at this time, because I understand the pain they suffer and how very hard it is to stand still and watch a loved one possibly face violence, prison or even death.
But this form of love is giving back to the user. The choice to seek help because only they can make that decision.
The second word is trust. This is a very precious thing, so easy to lose, but so hard to find again. The betrayal of the family’s trust is one of the worse things to cope with. Lies, stealing and a total lack of understanding by the user of the pain they are putting the family through, erodes trust fast.
It takes years to get that trust back again. Even when the user has recovered, the scars run deep. The family is frightened of being hurt again.
The last word is Hope. Hope in the beginning is the family's Achilles heel.
They hope the user will stop. They hope and pray that the user will listen and heed the good advice that they are trying to offer. They hope the nightmare will go away.
Slowly reality creeps in, but hope never dies. It just changes. They still hope for the user to change and seek support, but now they understand it must be when they are ready. They now hope for the strength to stand back and watch this journey their loved one must make.
They learn to find the courage to go on with their own lives. To enjoy the simple things and to look forward with hope for a better time.
The condition is his, but it's making me ill
He's changing accounts and I'm paying the bill
I'm holding the pieces of his broken life
And extending my duties as mother and wife
He's pulling, I'm stretching and I'm going to snap
And with moments to spare I've spotted the trap
I'm backing off now, my hands in the air
This whole situation's been very unfair
He's failed to respond to the help at his feet
He's at the controls and he's feeling the heat
He has used and abused and trampled at will
Sneered and denied and yet keeps drinking still
I've begged and I've threatened withdrawn and cried
And now, twelve years on, my love has all died
Pity is no substitute, however deep the love was
And now my poor soul has said "that's enough"
I crave the serenity my life badly needs
To banish the demons his addiction still feeds
I'm seeing a rainbow, high in the sky
With colours all glowing and arching up high
The rainbow's unique, it's brand spanking new
And so is the future for me and my kids too
Maria © Adfam